From Wired: Art Attack.

It's noon in London, and self-described "art terrorist" Banksy is preparing for his next installation. "I've created a cave painting," he says. "It's a bit of rock with a stick man chasing a wildebeest and pushing a shopping cart." The next day, Banksy carefully hangs his work - called Early Man Goes to Market and credited to "Banksymus Maximus" - in Gallery 49 of the venerable British Museum, accompanied by a few sentences of explanatory text. He does this without the knowledge or consent of museum officials; they learn about the latest addition to the collection only after Banksy announces it on his Web site.

Over the past few years, Banksy has emerged as an ingenious and dexterous culture jammer, adept at hacking the art world and rewriting its rules to suit his own purposes. He once closed a tunnel in London while he and his friends, disguised as overall-clad painters, whitewashed the walls. Then Banksy applied his own distinctive black stencils on the newly cleaned surface. "We called our friends, bought some beer, and staged a 'gallery show,'" he says with a chuckle. Last March, Banksy achieved a sort of art world quadruple crown when he snuck his works into four New York City museums - the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Museum of Modern Art, the American Museum of Natural History, and the Brooklyn Museum - in a single day. Such feats have earned him worldwide media attention and the kind of rewards traditional artists would kill for, including an offer from Nike to work on an ad campaign (he declined) and an invitation to do a public painting for the 2004 Liverpool biennial (he accepted). The British Museum even added Early Man Goes to Market to its permanent collection. [continue]

Navigate through dontclick.it, but don't click your mouse button. Except maybe once, because who can resist? Go on, now.

Link found here at petebevin.com.

Today's amusement: MuffinFilms.

(Thanks to The Cranky Professor for this one.)

Can you imagine riding around on this?

(Link found here at Metafilter.)

A certain driver ought to follow up on those handwriting improvement tips. Language Log has the story: Gone to get pants.

Why bother with Star Wars when you can watch Store Wars instead? This is an excellent bit of video fun; go look. Obi Wan Cannoli is waiting for you.

From the BBC: Cave art hoax hits British Museum.

Fake prehistoric rock art of a caveman with a shopping trolley has been hung on the walls of the British Museum.

The rock was put there by art prankster Banksy, who has previously put works in galleries in London and New York.

A British Museum spokeswoman said they were "seeing the lighter side of it". She said it went unnoticed for one or two days but Banksy said three days.

Banksy also hung a sign saying the cave art showed "early man venturing towards the out-of-town hunting grounds".

It read: "This finely preserved example of primitive art dates from the Post-Catatonic era. [continue]

From WFMU's Beware of the Blog: She Be She Strike.

Eskimo Radio MP3s: Ayatollah Khomeini, You Are My Sunshine, Labatt's Beer Ad, Heart of Stone, Marijuana Humor.

The story and the tapes began circulating around the cassette underground in the early-eighties: an Inuit Radio station operated in Northern Canada by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) was vacated by its regular staff due to a CBC strike, and the station was temporarily programmed by its Eskimo janitor and his buddies. The phrase "She Be She Strike" (CBC Strike) can be heard repeatedly on portions of the tape which are not excerpted here, but the truth may never be known until the language can be identified and a native speaker translates the entire recording, hint hint.

The story isn't too far-fetched though; the CBC operates dozens of Inuit radio stations through it's Northern Service, and the record shows that they've had their fair share of strikes over the years. [continue]

Some of this is just hilarious. And anyway, how often do you get a chance to hear Inuktitut?

Link found here at Metafilter.

The Stories from Space site's Moss Graffiti page explains how to create designs by getting moss to grow just where you want it. It's the perfect way to decorate your neighbour's stone wall!

To begin the recipe, first of all gather together several clumps of moss (moss can usually be found in moist, shady places) and crumble them into a blender. Then add the beer and sugar and blend just long enough to create a smooth, creamy consistency. Now pour the mixture into a plastic container. [continue, see photos]

Stories from Space has a bunch of unusual things lurking about. See Myrmidon Castle, for instance. Heh.

Link to the moss graffiti page found at Kottke.org's remaindered links.

From abc.net.au: Scientific conference falls for gibberish prank.

A bunch of computer-generated gibberish masquerading as an academic paper has been accepted at a scientific conference in a victory for pranksters at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).

Jeremy Stribling said that he and two fellow MIT graduate students questioned the standards of some academic conferences, so they wrote a computer program to generate research papers complete with nonsensical text, charts and diagrams.

The trio submitted two of the randomly assembled papers to the World Multiconference on Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics (WMSCI), scheduled to be held July 10-13 in Orlando, Florida.

To their surprise, one of the papers - "Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of Access Points and Redundancy" - was accepted for presentation. [continue]

I've had a bit of wine tonight, but I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining this Light Weight Hovercraft site, which features photos of a hovercraft that was

...constructed using a 110HP McCollough 2 cycle engine and a 4 blade aluminum propeller. The body is made out of shaped Styrofoam covered with fiberglass. The entire craft weighs approximately 300 lbs and is capable of flying over objects up to 8" high. The top speed at on solid flat ground is about 25 miles per hour. The speed on water is only 15 mile per hour. The lower speed is a result of wave action and water resistance and displacement. The top speed on ice exceeds 45 mile per hour. [continue]

Anyway, go take a look at the photos. Can you imagine driving such a thing to work? It would be much more interesting than any of the flashy cars my friend Brian is thinking about buying.

Making Light has posted a completely delightful thing: Your homework done for free! Go read this.

If you teach, or if you get lots of "please do my homework for me" email, then you'd best put down your coffee before you start reading.

Related:
Plagarist, Meet Humorist (Link found here at the Cranky Professor.)

Happy April Fool's Day! Here's an old classic from the April Fools on the net website: Microsoft to Buy Catholic Church.

You might also enjoy the Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time from the Museum of Hoaxes. There you can read about Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Want more? If you're new to Mirabilis.ca, take a look at these entries:
ThinkGeek pranks
History of April Fool's Day
Swiss Spaghetti harvest
April Fool's Day fun in Norway
Save the tree octopus

This cartoon is wonderful. It just about made me spit ale all over my screen.

Link found here at Language Hat.

Here's more fun for those of you who like amusing fonty things: Amaztype. Type your favourite word in the search box, then press the magic button. Your word will soon appear, composed of images; the images are all thumbnails of related books at Amazon. Click on a thumbnail image to zoom in.

Now, where on earth did I find a link to this? Hmmm. Maybe it was here at Pasta and Vinegar. Or maybe not. You know how it is: one link leads to another, and grappa distracts.

So you go to Web of Letters, type in a word or phrase, and press the button. Poof! Up comes your word, in letter images. The creator explains:

Using the Yahoo API and its image search capabilities, I created the Web of Letters. Enter anything and the letters for your word will be pulled from the web. Refresh for different results.

I love fonty things.

Link found here at The Raw Feed.

Here, try this. (Flash required.) Type in your favourite quotation and see its letters dance and swirl around the screen before settling into place. This is more fun than it sounds, or perhaps I'm just too easily amused.

From the McCord Museum of Canadian History: Mind your manners.

Adopt the role of a late 19th century character...
... and try to earn your place in a world where every move is governed by the rules of etiquette.

Can you select the right clothing for every situation, and behave impeccably at home, in the park, at a ball, and so forth? Here's your chance to find out. (Requires Flash. Oh, and do turn your speakers on.)

Link found here at Metafilter.

OK, remember the public hilarity thing I blogged a week or so ago? It was about Improv Everywhere and the outrageously funny things they get up to. I'm still smiling about the synchronized swimming routine they performed in a public fountain.

Today the New York Times has an article about the group: When Chekhov Meets Whoopee Cushion. It made me laugh a few times, but this is the best part:

Last year, Mr. Todd organized a "Meet the Writers" reading at Barnes & Noble in Union Square with Anton Chekhov. It didn't matter that the Russian dramatist died 100 years earlier. Mr. Todd found an old bearded guy with a K.G.B. accent, made up some realistic-looking posters and had the imposter read Chekhov's short story "In the Graveyard," with a few modifications to the text. The believing audience of around 25, half of whom were Mr. Todd's accomplices, sat spellbound.

It wasn't until Mr. Todd, who was moderating, opened the floor for questions that two security guards and the manager stepped in and politely asked the crowd to leave. "The manager told us to come back next time Chekhov writes a new play," Mr. Todd said. Undeterred, the group set up a book-signing in Union Square Park, where the so-called author sold 26 autographed copies of Chekhov's play "The Cherry Orchard."

"When you die, this is going to be worth lots of money," one proud young buyer told the playwright. Another apologized for missing Chekhov's play in Central Park the previous summer. [continue]

Ha!

You might need a password if you want to read the full NYT article. But then again, you might not.

Public toilets, Ha Ha Road and the right to drive geese through Dulwich. This Guardian article offers "40 incontrovertible reasons why London trounces the French capital any day." Many of the points are splendid. Go on, look.

A delightfully wacky New York group calling themselves Improv Everywhere "causes scenes of chaos and joy in public places." They're hysterical.

Last summer the group performed a synchronized swimming routine in a public fountain. The whole event is described in delicious detail, and there are photos and a video, too. I laughed myself silly over this, though perhaps that's because I've had more to do with synchronized swimming than I want to remember or admit.

Improv Everywhere has also organized groups of trouserless people to ride the New York subway, placed a tuxedo-wearing attendant in a McDonald's bathroom, and heaven knows what else. I haven't read about the rest of their missions, but you bored-at-work folks might. I did giggle at some of the press coverage the group has received.

(Thanks to Kottke.org's remaindered links for linking to this page on the Improv Everywhere site.)

I've made the odd snowman, but I see now that I've been way outclassed in the snow art department. Take a look at the Snow Sculpture Championships 2005 page, and see which of the incredible sculptures you like best. Amazing stuff here!

Thanks to J-Walk Blog for pointing out this site.

Oooh, another fun interactive thing. Scurry on over to The Baby Name Wizard's Name Voyager, and type in your first name. You'll see how popular your name has been from the 1900s through to 2003. See if the peak of your name's popularity is about when you were born, or if your parents gave you an out-of-fashion name, or if your name has been popular forever. Fascinating, and lots of fun. Requires Java.

Link found here at A Whole Lotta Nothing.

I've just watched www.mirabilis.ca grow a very strange floral arrangement. Your domain can do the same! Hop on over to Organic HTML, type in some URL, and see what grows. (Flash required.) This is a splendid way to distract yourself when you should be working.

I want to know why www.wordspy.com, www.redcross.ca and www.vancouver.ca produced blue flowers, why www.abebooks.com and linux.org grew red flowers, and why www.ubc.ca got a multi-coloured bouquet. And why www.mirabilis.ca just got black flowers. Argh!

Link found through kottke.org's remaindered links, which linked to a flower battles post at 21st Century Paladin.

I love fonty fun like Bembo's Zoo. It's an abecedarium, made of letters and punctuation marks from the Bembo font. Turn on your speakers, click any letter, and watch the transformation begin.

(Requires Flash. Those with Javascript disabled will need to start here instead of at the main page.)

In case you wonder why a font would be called Bembo, I'll point you towards the Bembo page at WhatTheFont.com. There you'll learn a bit about Pietro Bembo, and the font named after him:

Italian classical scholar, friend of Lucrezia Borgia and many leading figures of the day. He regularized the Italian language itself by publishing grammars. He was made cardinal in 1539.

Monotype gave his name to their typeface Bembo of 1929. The design is based on type cut by Francesco Griffo for the Aldine Press of Aldus Manutius, and first used in Bembo’s work De Aetna in 1495/96. [continue]

Link to Bembo's Zoo found here at J-Walk Blog.

(Oh, and today's coïncidence is that I've just been reading The Prettiest Love Letters in the World: Letters Between Lucrezia Borgia & Pietro Bembo, 1503-1519.)

Related links:
Bembo's Zoo book - Amazon.com
Type Casting - New York Times' review of Bembo's Zoo book. Includes interesting information about the typeface.
Bembo - The Typehead Chronicles
Pietro Bembo - Wikipedia
Pietro Bembo - Catholic Encyclopedia

More type fun:
Typeflake

The Globe and Mail's News of the Weird article reports some of the strange things that appeared in the news during 2004. Here are just a few of the ones they list:

Attacked by a 700-pound bear, Bulgarian hunter Marin Cogev brains the bruin with the butt of his rifle and then fires in the air. Alarmed, the beast flees, and Mr. Cogev starts off in hot pursuit, but he trips and the gun goes off, the bullet grazing his head and knocking him out. Luckily, he is found by another hunter and taken to hospital for treatment. (...)

A Swedish mechanic refuses to pay a ticket for parking his snowmobile illegally - in Britain. Krister Nylander says he received a ticket ordering him to pay $160 for the alleged violation in Warwick. Mr. Nylander, who lives on a farm 325 kilometres north of Stockholm, says he has never been to Warwick and neither has his snowmobile. (...)

Ontario Provincial Police stop a 54-year-old man heading south on Highway 400 as he plays a violin while at the wheel of his 1992 Volkswagen Jetta. The man says he was warming up for a concert. (...)

A driver in Hull, England, gets a parking ticket after city workers lift up his car and paint double yellow warning lines underneath it. The workers bounce his Nissan Micra away from the curb, paint the lines and then bounce it back. Factory workers who witness the bizarre incident tell the driver, who has the ticket cancelled. [see full article]

Amazing. And I picked only the tame ones for you!

There's a fine quiz in the gardening section of the Telegraph today. The intro blurb: "You may have expert horticultural knowledge, but how good are you on the gardens of the imagination, asks Ursula Buchan." Here are a few questions taken from the quiz.

• Who staged a memorable, but rather too clerical, fête-champêtre in the grounds of their country house?
• Which French writer considered that we should cultivate our garden, a metaphor for attending to our affairs?
• Who prayed for "a piece of land not so very large, where a garden should be and a spring of ever-flowing water near the house, and a bit of woodland as well as these".
• Who felt badly about killing a hedgehog while mowing?

• In which Old Testament book is the song, Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits?

• In which light opera do you hear the lines: "If you walk down Piccadilly with a poppy or a lily in your medieval hand"?
  

There are 30 questions in all, covering gardens in prose, gardens in children's literature, gardens in poetry, and gardens in plays, music or film.

You'll need a username and password to see the answers. Get one in seconds at BugMeNot.

The Book-A-Minute site introduces itself:

We at Book-A-Minute understand that your time is valuable. You want to experience the wonder and excitement of the fine art of literature, but reading actual books requires a significant time investment. We've got the solution for you. Our ultra-condensed books are just the ticket.

Maybe you've read The Confessions of St Augustine? The full version is here. The Book-A-Minute version is here — all three sentences of it!

Take a look around. There are Book-A-Minute versions of A Christmas Carol, The Collected Works of Jane Austin, Animal Farm, and a bajillion other titles as well.

Oooh, a fun calendar for you, and just in time for the new year, too. Choose either a pentagon dodecahedron or a rhombic dodecahedron, and select the settings you want (language, year, etc) for your calendar. Then download the appropriate file, print, fold, and you're done.

Want to make the elves sing? This carol maker from Zefrank is good fun. Compose your own song by clicking on notes or chords, then assigning timing. You can save your composition, and send your carol to friends, if you like.

(Link found here at Zeldman.com.)

If you'd rather have non-musical frivolity, go make a snowflake or a typeflake instead.

Today's diversion: the kaleidoscope painter. Whee! Try a narrow brush and use swoopy strokes.

Link found here at under the fire star.

I'm sick, and stuck at home, and bored, bored, bored. In my dazed state I can't accomplish much, so I've been noodling around on the web, looking for amusing videos. Oh, I do love this funny cats one. (MPEG format, 16.1 MB. More suited to those with fast internet connections.) Go look, but turn your speakers on before you play the video.

Well, this is a hoot. It's the Outkast song Hey Ya, but edited so it's now about Hanukkah. (Requires Flash.)

Link found at Blogdex.

Related:
Here's a way better video that also uses the Outkast Hey Ya song. In this version Charlie Brown and the Peanuts cast provide the action. Hilarious. Quicktime format.

Here's what you've been waiting for: skeletal systems of cartoon characters. You've always wondered what a profile x-ray of Charlie Brown would look like, haven't you? Now you can go look.

Link found at Boing Boing

What if Shakespeare had used PowerPoint? You must see this, really you must.

Link found in the comments section of Jeffrey Veen's Death By AutoContent posting.

Related
The PowerPoint Anthology of Literature: Hamlet - another PowerPoint Hamlet thing
William Shakespeare - Wikipedia
Hamlet - Wikipedia

It glided like no paper airplane I have ever seen before, it was acting like a REAL airplane. It gently curved into the slight breeze and began to rise vertically without moving forward. The craft then began to lower as if it were a helicopter and gently came to rest on the asphalt below.

Is this really the best paper airplane in the world? There are detailed assembly instructions, so grap a piece of paper and try it out. Flying directions included.

From a Worth 1000 words contest:

The prototype is the first draft of an invention or product: How it looked before it was time to head back to the drawing board. In this contest your task is to show us the prototype of all famous musical things, items and products

Some of the images people submitted in response are amazing and wonderful. Go look!

(Link found here at J-Walk.)

From Engadget.com: The Why Knot? tie-tying machine.

If you're too lazy to tie your own ties, but not too lazy to build your own robot, you might want to hit up Seth Goldstein for instructions on building the Why Knot?, a necktie-tying contraption he built in his spare time. Ties a tie in a mere 562 steps, amazing! [there's a photo, too!]

Related:
This page includes a video (flash) of the machine in action.

Just about ready to carve a pumpkin? You might enjoy the Extreme Pumpkins site, where you can browse through the carving tips, read about power tools for pumpkin carving, fire, light and pyrotechnics, and pumpkin preservation.

The site also includes what to do with a trash can, and a recipe for toasting pumpkin seeds.

Of course there are photos of carved pumpkins, too, like this this collection of photos, and this puking pumpkin.

(Gentle souls please note that parts of the site are not in the best of taste. Gentle souls should visit anyway; it's fun.)

From Wired, bless them: Inventor Rejoices as TVs Go Dark.

...TV-B-Gone, a new universal remote that turns off almost any television. The device, which looks like an automobile remote, has just one button. When activated, it spends over a minute flashing out 209 different codes to turn off televisions, the most popular brands first. [full article]

Do you want one? I do.

From The Times Online: Want to win at Pooh Sticks? It's all in the throw.

Parents like to think of it as a harmless game. But anyone below the age of eight knows that Pooh Sticks is a highly competitive art form, a precision skill that requires not only near-perfect hand-eye co-ordination and a plentiful supply of the proper equipment (sticks) but, crucially, the will and ability to cheat.

Now cheating at the game invented by A. A. Milne for his son Christopher Robin has become significantly easier thanks to research by Ben Schott, the author of Schott's Miscellany, a bestselling trivia book.

In the third miscellany, Schott's Sporting, Gaming and Idling Miscellany, which is published this week, Schott reveals the game's secret. On page 17 of the book, alongside a diagram illustrating his controversial method, Schott has pinpointed an ideal "drop zone".

Throw your stick or pine cone from this vantage point, he says, and you can "reduce a stick's waiting time for up to five seconds". He also suggests an ideal racing line for Pooh Sticks. Armed with this information, rivals at Pooh Sticks heading to Ashdown Forest, Sussex, where Milne invented the game, may find themselves transformed from frustrated amateurs to champions. [continue]

Thanks to my friend Brian for writing to tell me about this article.

Weboggle is an addictive little "find the word" game. One game will take only a few minutes, but can you stop there?

(Thanks to Marcus for writing to tell me about this.)

This is fun: Hand Shadows To Be Thrown Upon The Wall.

Found here at Exclamation Mark.

Take 100 photos of 100 faces in a metropolitan area, morph them together to create a composite male and female face, and you can see the face of tomorrow.

From this posting at Metafilter.

From the BBC: Jet-powered wheelchair surprise.

Giuseppe Cannella had a big surprise for his mother-in-law when he put a jet engine on the back of her wheelchair.

Mr Cannella says the chair can now do top speeds of more than 60mph and has proved the star of a model plane championship during the Bank Holiday.

A model plane enthusiast himself, Mr Cannella has been putting on shows at Barkston Heath near Grantham, Lincs.

"It is just the wheelchair with the engine bolted on the back and steering on the front," he said. [continue]

Yo, academics: You've spent sleepless nights wishing you could renovate the whole university on the cheap, haven't you? A Guardian article offers "a secret method by which you can slowly refurbish an entire university for absolutely nothing". Hee. Lovely.

In an article for The Guardian, Norman Moss explains why he loves newspaper corrections columns.

One feature I turn to in any serious newspaper is the corrections column. I often find something there to gladden my heart.

Like the recent New York Times item which explained that a reporter's description of a funeral in Jerusalem should have said that mourners "rent their clothes" not "rented their clothes". Or this from an earlier New York Times: "The first sentence should begin ‘Attorney Marcia Robinson Lowry’. Not ‘A tiny Mrs Robinson Lowry.’ (Ms Robinson is 5ft 7in)." [continue]

From the Beeb: Jester wanted, must be mirthful.

England is looking for a state jester for the first time in more than 350 years.

English Heritage has advertised in a national newspaper for the post, last held in the court of King Charles I in 1649. (...)

The post of jester was abolished by Oliver Cromwell as part of the purges that followed the Civil War and was not reinstated after the Restoration.

But an advertisement on the English Heritage website and in Thursday's Times newspaper is set to change all that.

The first part of the ad reads: "Jester wanted. Must be mirthful and prepared to work summer weekends in 2005."

It says applicants must have their own outfits, including bells, although a "bladder on a stick" can be provided "if necessary". [continue]

Related:
Court Jester - Wikipedia

Now you can find out! This little test will tell you how quickly you read, and whether or not you're faster than the average bear.

I don't know why stamp cups appeal to me so much, but they do. If there's going to be a coffee stain, should it not at least be a fun one? From Throstonvanelton.com's stamp cups page:

Those irritating ringmarks that mugs and cups leave..... well, you can turn them into a nice floral pattern now with a set of Stamp Cups. The pattern on the base of the cup match up so you can join as many marks as you want.

Nice photo on that site, BTW.

Link found here at Gizmodo. (Oh, and while you're at Gizmodo, check out this article about "a series of vases and flower pots that actually use the leaves and flowers of plants as speakers." Most peculiar.)

A couple of years ago I blogged about a creative response to those Nigerian 419 scams. (You've had those letters, haven't you? Somebody needs help getting a million gazillion dollars out of some country, and writes to you for assistance. You'll get a big chunk of change of course, for helping. Yeah, right.)

Now the BBC has a day-brightening article about turning the tables on Nigeria's e-mail conmen. An excerpt:

Mike is a "scambaiter," dedicated to fighting back against those who send out the notorious 419 e-mails, promising untold wealth to anyone gullible or naive enough to disclose their bank details.

Mike asked us not to use his full name because he's dealing with some heavy cross-border criminals.

His group of volunteers at 419eater.com use their computer skills to fool the scammers, to disrupt their crimes, and to have some fun at the scammer's expense.[continue]

You've just got to go read the rest of this article. I'm going to be giggling about the Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast all day.

Related:
Joe Eboh - 419eater.com

You mustn't miss the Hamster Opera Company. There are scenes from the operas, and scenes from the history of Britain. Where else can you find medieval hamster monks? There's are Hamster Ballet pages to explore, too.

Link found at The View From the Foothills.

Tonight's amusement comes from Defective Yeti: On The Ball.

The weekend started with a literal bang here in the Baldwin household, as the nation of Taiwan attempted to kill me and my child. It was a little after ten on Friday evening, and I was trying to get The Squirrelly to sleep by holding him while bouncing up and down on an exercise ball in a darkened room. Then, just as he closed his eyes and started to breathe deeply, the ball beneath us decided to embark on a new career as a big piece of ruptured plastic. One moment we're merrily boinging up and down, the next we're laying there with dazed looks on our faces, I sprawled cockeyed against the wall, The Squirrelly several feet away on his back, looking like two guys waking up on the morning after a particularly enjoyable bachelor party. [continue]

How to . . . do maths. From Guy Browning's article in The Guardian:

Maths is the purest science in that you don't need any test tubes or animal testing to do it. All the other sciences eventually boil down to maths, apart from biology, which boils down to soup.

There are two types of maths: maths with numbers and maths with letters. Don't try the one with letters when you're checking your change in the pub. Doing maths with letters makes as much sense as painting with numbers. Actually, painting with numbers makes a surprising amount of sense, and you can get a very nice picture of the Cutty Sark.

Mathematicians like letters a lot, and they have their favourites. Chief among these are a and b and x and y. You never see much of w. This is because it features the word "double", which means times by two and would easily confuse mathematicians.

In the real world, when letters meet numbers, you get a bus route. In maths, you get an equation. With equations, mathematicians can work out the distance to the planets, the direction of evolution and the mind of God. They miss their bus, but that's the price you pay for hot maths action. [continue]

Back in 1995, Patrick Combs got one of those junk mail cheques for $95,093.35. Patrick — on a lark — decided to deposit the cheque, figuring that the bank staff would have a good giggle about it, the cheque would be immediately declared invalid, and that would be that. What happened instead? Patrick's bank balance increased by $95,093.35, and an adventure began. Patrick's website, Man 1, Bank 0, tells the whole amazing story in 12 pages of juicy details.

Found at Linkfilter.

Today's distraction is the fortune cookie fortune generator. Write your own message!

Link found at Citrus Moon.

You've got your skates on; you're ready to go. You grab this thing that looks a lot like a lawnmower, and it pulls you along the street. Imagine!

This radical new electric vehicle adds a fun boost to inline skating. Like a water-skier, you hold on as the PowerSki tows you at speeds up to 15mph. It turns any paved surface into a downhill skating or skiing environment. When was the last time you skied 10 miles to work?

Looks like great fun, but is probably terribly impractical for most of us.

From the Junk Drawer at Contact Sheet we have this delightful 1940s guide: How to make friends by Telephone. It's a "tips for the clueless" kind of thing, apparently published by some telephone company. Amazing.

Link found at Incoming Signals.

How many times have you written a polite and respectful resignation letter, when all the while you really wanted to say something like this? Yeah, I thought so.

Link found at Blogcritics.

From Gizmondo: Un_Fold Chair Design Contest: 90 Days, 200lbs, and a FedEx Box.

Oh, this is fantastic. Apparently British designer Phil Nutley sent a letter to 9 designers in 9 cities with a challenge: within 90 days, build a chair that can be made for $200 or less that can support the weight of a person up to 200lbs. The catch? The chair had to be able to fit inside a FedEx box. What unfolds (oh ho ho) 90 days later at the International Contemporary Furniture Fair is captured in this video by City Magazine. [continue].

From ChannelNewsAsia.com: Pink dinosaur grabs centre stage on remote New Zealand volcano.

AUCKLAND: Scientists using a camera to monitor a remote New Zealand volcano over the Internet have struck an odd problem — a pink dinosaur.

New Zealand's Geological and Nuclear Sciences (GNS) have installed a digital camera in the crater of the volcano which makes up most of White Island in the Bay of Plenty, east of Auckland.

The often active volcano draws tourists by boat but most people do not go ashore on the uninhabited, rumbling island.

To keep a close watch, GNS installed a digital camera on the island and post a shot taken every hour on their website.

But suddenly a pink dinosaur has appeared in the shot.

"Some wag has glued a pink dinosaur in front of our digital camera," GNS' John Callan said. [continue].

Here's the latest image from the White Island Crater Cam. And yes, there's that dinosaur!

(Link found at Boing Boing.)

Related:
Volcano Cameras - New Zealand - geonet.org.nz

From Ananova: Husband helps wife with secret note.

A husband helped his pregnant wife get a seat on a bus by pinning a note on her back without her knowing before she went out.

Nanguo Morning Post says the Nanning woman, known as Wang, was surprised to be offered a seat as soon as she got on a bus, and to see all the passengers smiling at her.

She was finally shown the note on her back which read: "Please look after the pregnant woman."

I wonder if Wang's husband has read A Bear Called Paddington. (The sign around Paddington's neck said "Please look after this bear.")

Bubble Bees is a fun little flash game. It's a perfect Friday afternoon diversion, and I bet your score will be way higher than mine.

From Ananova: Batman and Robin fighting crime - in Whitley.

Two mystery men dressed as Batman and Robin have been fighting crime and saving damsels in distress in a small English town.

The pair have been spotted springing into action a number of times in recent weeks on the streets of Whitley, near Reading.

The Reading Evening Post asked readers for news of the duo after they dealt with a pair of streakers at a local football cup final.

And the newspaper was besieged with calls from residents who claimed to have seen the ‘superheroes’ in action.

Michelle Kirby was stranded when her Peugeot 206 ran out of petrol on Easter Sunday - until Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere and pushed her car to the nearest petrol station.

She said: "They just appeared. I saw them running down the road in Batman and Robin outfits - I was laughing so much. [continue]

Related:
Who was that masked man?

Net Hoaxes Snare Fools All Year. From Wired:

The infinite power supply does not exist. But for the past two years, that fact hasn't stopped people from trying to buy one.

In fact, ever since ThinkGeek, an online retailer of offbeat gadgets, put up the item on its website as an April Fools' Day prank in 2002, requests to purchase the item have continued to arrive at a slow but steady rate.

"We've had people e-mailing us from all over the world telling us they were very interested in it," said Scott Smith, a buyer for ThinkGeek, adding that no one who places an order actually gets charged for the $200 Desktop Zero-Point Infinite Power Generator. He said the site also receives queries on a regular basis, albeit in lower volumes, for other fake postings, including a USB George Foreman Grill and caffeinated meatloaf.

It's hard to say why some fake products are taken more seriously than others. Smith said he believes customers are fooled largely because the site's real inventory -- which includes such items as caffeinated soap -- is so odd. If a more mainstream site posted the same bogus products as ThinkGeek, customers would be more likely to spot the joke. [continue]

This year's April Fool's products at ThinkGeek: Gastron(tm) - Remote Controlled Hunger Eliminator, PC HabiCase, PC EZ-Bake Oven, CaffeDerm® Patch, The Magic Supersecret Binary T-Shirt (which you can decode here), and the Pet Computer Viruses - Starter Collection.

I love ThinkGeek. Their website is fun, and their service (I know because I order stuff from them) is fantastic.

From Wired: The Little Monorail That Could.

As a child, Kim Pedersen dreamed of building a monorail in his backyard, but his dad wouldn't let him.

Several decades later and now a homeowner, Pedersen has gotten his wish: The 52-year-old Californian is possibly the only person in the world with a working backyard monorail.

"A lot of kids get to build model trains in their basements, but I got to build a monorail in my backyard," he said.

The monorail took five years to construct at a cost of about $4,000.

Standing 8 feet tall at its highest point, the curved track runs about 300 feet around the perimeter of Pedersen's backyard in Fremont, California.

Riding on the monorail is "a little bit unnerving, especially at the high point," he said. "It's 8 feet up and you're looking down on concrete."

The two-car train is powered by a pair of 12-volt motorcycle batteries and an electric motor taken from a scooter. The rails are made of plywood.

Pedersen first made sketches for his homemade monorail when he was in high school in 1969.

Several years ago, he and his wife, Carol, went shopping for a house. While his wife scouted interiors, Pedersen paid more attention to the monorail possibilities of the backyard. [continue]

One morning, after breaking yet another shoelace, I noticed that it always seemed to be the right end of my lace that broke. Because the regular method of tying shoelaces is not symmetrical, I figured that the end that experiences the most movement simply wears out more quickly.

When I examined the knot and found that it could be made symmetrical, I discovered quite by accident that the resultant technique was also much faster, as a lot of time was saved by working with both hands simultaneously.

That's from the history page of Ian's Shoelace site. The things one finds on the web!

Ok, now for the fun bit. Untie your shoelaces and go learn to tie an Ian knot. The page includes helpful diagrams; if that's not enough, try the flip book or the video.

Update:
Why I love... Ian's shoelace site - Guardian, April 5th, 2005

Grab a paragraph or so of some email you're writing, or perhaps a bit of Proust, or that blog entry you're about to post. Then scurry over to Yoz's New Improved Collapsible Travelling Capitalisation And Punctuation In Place Alphabetiser. Paste in your text, click the Go go go button, and all those words you put in the text box will be alphabetized. The results can be quite fun. The Proust quotation came out this way:

Are be blossom charming gardeners grateful happy let make make; our people souls the they to us us who who.

Fun for the easily amused, like me. Link found at Found at Idle Type.

Turn your speakers on, then go to the insanity test page.

Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father. This article is one of my all-time favourites.

Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room. Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein. Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat, neither may you drink.

But if you are sick, and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room.

And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were. Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me. Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke. Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away. When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck; for you will be sent away. [continue]

(The original web version of Lamentations of the Father is here, but that page is only available to Atlantic subscribers.)

From the Confuse A Cat website:

Have you confused your cat recently? Chances are you have not. Most people don't realise that they must confuse their cats regularly.

But we must warn you: confusing cats is not a business to be taken lightly. Only qualified professionals should attempt to confuse a cat. [continue]

Link found at Metafilter.

Today's diversion: barcode yourself. I won't ask where you'll put the sticker.

Found at Blogdex.

Every once in a while I re-read Terry Bisson's They're Made Out of Meat, just because it's hilarious and it always makes me chuckle. Here's the first bit:

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat." [continue]

Related book:
Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories, by Terry Bisson.

How have I missed knowing about Underpants Gnomes? From Wikipedia:

In the South Park episode entitled Gnomes (Underpants Gnomes), The Underpants Gnomes are a community of underground gnomes who collect underpants.

The Underpants Gnomes have a three-step business plan, consisting of:

1. Collect underpants


2. ???


3. Profit!

Where none of the gnomes actually knows what the second step is, and all of them assume someone else within the organization does.

A similar business model is also found in one episode of Arthur, where an organization of pets form the Sock exchange.

The gnomes specifically satirise dotcom businesses with poorly devised business models, although the satire lends itself to any ill-conceived business plan.

The three step business plan has become a recurring joke on Slashdot, with various things substituted for item 1.

Found here at Ben Hammersley's blog.

From Liz Langley's LOTR Dating Manual:

LOTR may be disguised as a sexless geek-boy epic, but this trilogy is more riddled with dating tips than an issue of Seventeen magazine:

• When you're trying to catch the cute guy's eye is the exact moment the dwarf will pick to approach you;


• Eating raw fish is no longer a sign of a sophisticated date. (That said, you have to admit the Atkins plan is working for Gollum.)


• if you're the only girl among 100 guys you'll still fall for the only one who has a girlfriend;


• When overused, terms of endearment such as "precious" lose their meaning;


• All couples fight, but battles shouldn't last so long that one of you has to get up and stretch your legs or use the bathroom;


• It doesn't matter if you look like Liv Tyler; your pining and whining will still get on people's nerves;


• Don't blame your friends just because they can see right through your creepy little partner;


• If you can get along on a road trip, the relationship will probably last;


• There will come a point when it seems like the relationship should be over. Don't drag it out. Just end it there.

And finally, the mother of all dating wisdom:

• Some people will go to any lengths to get a ring; others, having had one for awhile, will go to any lengths to chuck it into a volcano.

Over at Dappled Things I read about a decomposing whale that exploded in Taiwan. This reminds me of another, and most hilarious, exploding whale story. Have you heard about how the Powers That Be dealt with a dead whale on an Oregon beach? Priceless. Here's part of Dave Barry's 1990 article about it:

I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have it all on videotape. The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent a reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale that washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting rid of the carcass was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division, apparently on the theory that highways and whales are very similar in the sense of being large objects.

So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan -- remember, I am not making this up -- of blowing up the whale with dynamite. The thinking here was that the whale would be blown into small pieces, which would be eaten by sea gulls, and that would be that. A textbook whale removal.

So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton of dynamite next to the whale and set it off. I am probably not guilty of understatement when I say that what follows, on the videotape, is the most wonderful event in the history of the universe. First you see the whale carcass disappear in a huge blast of smoke and flame. Then you hear the happy spectators shouting "Yayy!" and "Whee!" Then, suddenly, the crowd's tone changes. You hear a new sound like "splud." You hear a woman's voice shouting "Here come pieces of... MY GOD!" Something smears the camera lens.

Later, the reporter explains: "The humor of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere." One piece caved in the roof of a car parked more than a quarter of a mile away. Remaining on the beach were several rotting whale sectors the size of condominium units. There was no sign of the sea gulls, who had no doubt permanently relocated in Brazil.

You'll find that excerpt from Dave Barry's article at the Exploding Whale page. Better yet, they have the television news report of the explosion for you to watch.

This entry used to link to a really fun Quicktime video thing. Unfortunately, the item is no longer available. Sorry, kids. It was fun while it lasted.

What you need now is a glass of grappa, to sip while you listen to Luciano Pavarotti singing Elephants, yeah! Requires Flash; turn up speakers.

Remember at summer camp when you snuck out in the middle of the night to wrap somebody else's cabin in toilet paper? I bet you never thought of doing something like this.

What's the most interesting thing you've seen in your front yard lately? Nothing like this, I bet. (It's a photo posted on PeteBevin.com.)

What do Dueling Banjos have to do with Debian Linux? Taint.org has kindly blogged this hilarious excerpt from a Debian newsletter.

Some of the most bizarre mails on debian-devel over the years have been repeated requests by various people for the sheet music for dueling banjos. Several list subscribers have been eager to assist the posters in their search. Jim Penny called this the Dueling Banjo Effect and explained that this has become a self-perpetuating Google-flop. People use Google which points them to Debian to get this sheet music, and the act of asking reinforces Google's notion that Debian is a good place to get the music.

This part made my evening.

The Alphabet Synthesis Machine is an aid to explorers of the liminal territory between familiarity and chaos. An interactive Java applet, the machine invites you to evolve the letterforms of a personalized "alien alphabet": the possible writing system of your own imaginary civilization.

The Alphabet Synthesis Machine website says that the machine runs best in Internet Explorer, but it worked just fine for me in the lovely Mozilla Firebird browser.

I just happened upon Carbonating at Home with Improvised Equipment and Soda Fountains. An excerpt:

Carbonating tap water to make seltzer is easy, fast, and absurdly inexpensive with my improvised apparatus. All that is required is to place CO2 (carbon dioxide) gas in agitated contact with chilled water for a few seconds. In this essay, I'll show you how it is done with easy-to-find parts and common PET (polyethylene terephthalate, sometimes called PETE) soda bottles. I'll also explain the kinetic chemistry of why it works so well. And in the second half of this essay, I'll explain how I progressed from this improvised apparatus to installing a complete soda fountain in my home. [continue]

Anybody looking for a holiday project?

Flash frivolity and fun: At Typeflake you type in a greeting, and your text becomes a snowflake. Here's the one I made.

Link found here at Typographica.

Got Flash? Here's your chance to make a paper snowflake.

Link found at Metafilter.

Ship of Fools has done it again, bless them. Here's their 12 days of Kitschmas - "for the best bad taste religious gifts." The glow grave has to be the most absurd item... but who can resist a flying cathedral?

Thanks to Making Light for the link.

We rarely get any snow in Vancouver, which is a pity. How am I going to build an igloo without any snow? Hmmm?

If you're lucky enough to have snow and would like to build an igloo, the thing I posted last winter about building igloos might be of interest. And here's something similar to the Eskimold kit I mentioned back then:

The Icebox igloo construction tool is used for igloo building by creating sequential blocks in place. You set the clamps on the form then fill it while packing. after you have filled it you unclamp it and slide it to the next position. A pole with 8 adjustments, 1 for each layer is used to build igloos with the correct catenary shape and to help support the weight of the snow and form while packing the snow. After finishing 6 rows of the igloo you remove the outside of the form as the wall is now leaning in far enough so the snow can be packed from the outside. The snow only needs to hold its form well enough to stay in place until you start the next block. 8 total rows are built including the final cap.

That's from grandshelters.com. Doesn't that gizmo sound like fun?

A bit of Monday morning distraction for you: Meowmory, the kitten memory game. (Requires Flash.)

Link from Coolio's, which I found through Sugar'n Spicy.

From the Trouser Semaphore page: [UPDATE: sorry, page is no longer available.]

The acquired skill known as Trouser Semaphore is swiftly gaining currency as the only way for people of quality to communicate in an age of rapidly escalating background noise levels. Typically, at the race track or at unexpectedly rumbustious parties, attempts to make oneself heard above the general hubbub can prove exasperating and, as often as not, utterly futile. Within the space of a week, and with minimal amount of application, it is possible to gain a skill of incalculable worth. Across the floor of a crowded cocktail gathering, you too would be able to convey your inner most thoughts and deepest needs to like minded individuals, using nothing more than flexibility of your physique and the rough pliability of one’s trouser cloth. Surely, there is no sight more moving than a man and three square yards of carefully tailored cavalry twill moving in perfect harmony. [continue]

This is much more entertaining than the regular semaphore some of us learned in Girl Guides. Don't miss the brilliant little movie; you'll want sound turned on for that. [Update: movie no longer available. Sorry.]

Link found at J-Walk.

A fun thing from the BBC:

Do you know your transepts from your apses, your piers from your shrines? Take a Church Tour and find out.

Requires Flash.

Sydney Opera House Virtual Tour [update: link now broken] has probably won some kind of award for "excellent use of technology" or "best virtual tour" or something like that. It's good fun to explore, and includes Quicktime panoramas of views outside and inside various parts of the building. (Best for fast connections; uses Flash.)

Thanks to Frank DiSalle for the link.

Who can resist the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus?

The Pacific Northwest tree octopus (Octopus paxarbolis) can be found in the temperate rainforests of the Olympic Peninsula on the west coast of North America. Their habitat lies on the Eastern side of the Olympic mountain range, adjacent to Hood Canal. These solitary cephalopods reach an average size (measured from arm-tip to mantle-tip,) of 30-33 cm. Unlike most other cephalopods, tree octopuses are amphibious, spending only their early life and the period of their mating season in their ancestrial aquatic environment. Because of the moistness of the rainforests and specialized skin adaptations, they are able to keep from becoming desiccated for prolonged periods of time, but given the chance they would prefer resting in pooled water.

An intelligent and inquisitive being (it has the largest brain-to-body ratio for any mollusk), the tree octopus explores its arboreal world by both touch and sight. Adaptations its ancestors originally evolved in the three dimensional environment of the sea have been put to good use in the spatially complex maze of the coniferous Olympic rainforests. The challenges and richness of this environment (and the intimate way in which it interacts with it,) may account for the tree octopus's advanced behavioral development. (Some evolutionary theorists suppose that "arboreal adaptation" is what laid the groundwork in primates for the evolution of the human mind.) [continue]

What a hoot! Link via Unlocking the Air.

Monty Python fans flock to castle. From Today's Globe and Mail:

DOUNE, SCOTLAND -- Strange things happen to many travellers while they roam the dark passages and chambers of Doune Castle. They are overcome with the irresistible urge to say silly things like "Bring out your dead!" and "We are the knights who say Ni!"

The 14th-century castle, the location for much of the filming of the 1974 classic Monty Python and the Holy Grail, has become something of a holy grail for Python fans.

They walk through the castle reciting lines from the movie, and looking for sites where specific scenes were shot -- such as the battlement where John Cleese's French soldier shouts down at King Arthur, "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" (...)

Doune Castle is considered the best-preserved medieval castle in Scotland. It was built at the end of the 14th century by Robert Stewart, the first Duke of Albany, whose story is laced with intrigue. [continue]

Related:
Doune Castle - from Undiscovered Scotland

This looks splendid!

...the Bayeux Tapestry is the inspiration behind the Historic Tale Construction Kit (note: Flash 6 required). Build your own medieval themed cartoons & email them to friends.

Found at Metafilter.

Hee! Wish I'd thought of this. From Defective Yeti:

Oh man, have you heard about these Flash Mobs? They are so rad. Secret email goes out to a bunch of cool people and then they all, like, get together somewhere and act like robots or worship dinosaurs or some other crazy thing. Hah hah! So awesome!

Now I totally want to do one here in Seattle! So I'm proud to announce that defective yeti's First Flash Mob takes place on August 17!

Here's the plan. Everybody meet up at the house at 11765 Parker st. N. (98101) on that Sunday morning. Then, at exactly 10:00 AM we'll completely clean the place! Hah hah! Talk about zany and unexpected! We'll go nuts: scrubbing the shower and cleaning the gutters and washing the cars and mowing the lawn and brushing the cats, etc. This is going to totally freak out the house owners (who I will trick into going to get French Slams at the nearby Denny's while this takes place)! And when we're done (making sure we clean behind the fridge, just to be extra-unexpected) we'll suddenly disperse. Poof!

Hah hah! This is going to be so wild we'll probably get in the paper and stuff. Just meet at the house on the morning of Sunday, August 17th (don't worry about how we are going to get in -- fortunately I have a key and will leave the door unlocked), bring cleaning supplies, and be sure to pass this message on to all of your friends. It's gonna be, like, so great! Flash mobs! Woo! Spread the word! [continue to readers' comments]

Found at Boing Boing.

If you enjoy Quicktime panoramas, I've got just the site for you: Panoramas.dk. It links to about a bajilliion other sites, and a person could spend ages exploring. I found lots of fun stuff, like Ziggy the interactive cat, for instance

But this... oh, this is the best: Roma.

(NB: These sites are more suitable for fast connections. You'll need the free Quicktime plugin, of course, but I bet it's already on your computer.)

Thanks to Frank DiSalle for the link.

An amusing article from wired.com: Luxury Loo: The Seat Also Rises.

Steve Marshall vividly remembers the night he was terrorized by a toilet.

Marshall, an embedded systems programmer, had just arrived in Tokyo to deliver a sales pitch. After a couple of hours happily spent swilling sake to celebrate the closing of a deal, he, not surprisingly, had to use the facilities.

"When I approached the toilet, the lid lifted automatically," said Marshall. "Then, as I stood in front of it, the seat also lifted. All I could think was, whoa . . haunted bathroom! I just could not urinate for fear of what might happen next." [continue]

(You really must continue. It's hilarious.)

While we're on the subject of toilets, here's the funniest toilet-related disaster story I've ever read: Ask the pilot.

Spotted at In4mador:

The Illustrated Catalog of ACME Products
Pretty much every single product created by ACME, Wile E. Coyote's favourite company.

I'd want the jet propelled pogo stick and the rocket powered roller skates.

The Mona Lisa by Leonardo DaVinci is perhaps the world's most famous masterpiece. She is a classic vision of beauty and sensualtity, but let's face it, after 500 years, who couldn't use a little "restoration?" Some Botox here, some collagen there, and she'll be looking centuries younger in no time...

From Making over Mona, where you can modify the Mona Lisa with botox, collagen, surgery, or a chemical peel. (Requires Flash.)

Found at Mike's list.

Oh, my programmer friends are going to enjoy this thing about primates programming in Visual Basic. Hee! Found at PeteBevin.com.

What's your typing speed? The fun little typing test at learn2type.com is an easy way to find out.

What would you look like if you were made of lego?

Scitoys.com invites you to "Make toys at home with common household materials, often in only a few minutes, that demonstrate fascinating scientific principles."

Is this ever cool! I want to build a crystal radio. And hmmm, maybe a rocket, too.

Link found at Idletype.

This would have been fun to watch: Gallant police snare croc, but it was stuffed.

Italian police snared a two-metre crocodile in Rome's Tiber river only to find the reptile, believed to be the same one which has terrorised Romans for a week, was a stuffed hunting trophy.

Two intrepid police officers, who answered an emergency call, swooped onto a city centre riverbank after passers-by had seen the croc, jaws agape, apparently closing in on a child.

One officer clobbered the beast with stones as the other moved in, watched by hundreds of people from the city's Garibaldi bridge in the Trastevere tourist area.

Sportingly, the embarrassed cops later posed for pictures with their catch for Italian newspapers.

Police are hoping a burgeoning urban legend has been nipped in the bud, after overheated commuters reported sighting a crocodile in various parts of Rome over the past week.

Arts and Letters has found a splendid thing. They write:

In 1950, Popular Mechanics saw the future. Disposable dishes, fax machines, milk in frozen bricks, candy made from rayon underwear, and house cleaning with a fire hose...more>>

And the link goes to Miracles you'll see in the next 50 years - a reprint of a 1950 Popular Mechanics article. It's a hoot. Get this: "Because everything in her home is waterproof, the housewife of 2000 can do her daily cleaning with a hose."

[Update: sorry, article no longer available. Argh.]

What a splendid room for rent advert this is:

I have a large 15x10 room in a relatively large East Village apartment for rent. The apartment has one full bath and a half bath which is in my room. There is a large common area. It's a great space. There is one catch you should be aware of. I am a professional bee keeper. I maintain a rather large hive of Africanized honey bees. Due to the economic downturn and the reduced demand for honey I was unable to maintain my work studio and therefore I now work from home. The hive is located in the living room. I have plenty of protective gear and they mostly keep to themselves and go about their business of collecting pollen and producing delicious and reasonably priced honey. However, occasionally something sets them off and hive becomes enraged and tends to swarm. Generally you should be ok if you just keep your door shut but this can be a hassle at times. If you have any allergies to bee stings or maintain a large collection of predatory insects this is probably not the place for you.

Found at Craigslist.

I got sidetracked at Craig's List and went off to see what the "best of" page was all about. It's a collection of readers' favourite Craig's List postings. The funniest are a couple of the personal ads, like this one:

The Blonde at the Laundromat
You were the sexy blonde at the laundromat on Polk and Filbert last night. I was the guy who was folding other people's laundry into various origami shapes. I call it laundrogami. This serves multiple purposes, most of which make no sense, so I'll only mention the ones that do. First and foremost, it's nice to come back to laundromat and find your freshly dried clothes folded neatly by a stranger. It's even nicer to come back to find your favorite t-shirt folded in the shape of a swan (even if that one does require a few staples), or your underwear folded in the shape of the Spanish Armada. A red bra? Bam. Golden Gate Bridge. Don't even need to fold those; I just create a tiny toll plaza on one side out of one of those tiny fifty-cent detergent boxes and add cars (regular M&M's....peanut M&M's for SUV's). Apparently not realizing their significance, you ate several of my cars, like some modern day laundromat Godzilla. Anyway, you left for a while as your clothes were drying. I'd love to know what you thought of the sock panda. Coffee?

Your cell phone plays 'the lone ranger!' is also quite good.

From an ABC News article:

911 operators are sworn to keep a straight face and take all calls seriously, even when someone says, "Yeah, there's a moose running around out here with an Easter basket stuck around his neck."

Really, almost anything can happen. To save a choking potbellied pig, a 911 operator had to talk a caller through "mouth-to-snout" resuscitation. Luckily, the operator was also a veterinarian.

If you're looking for one of those "only in America" moments, how about this call: "Yes, this is the 7-Eleven, I want to report some juveniles sucking on the Slurpee machine."

To puritanical Americans, the mere hint of sex might seem like an emergency. Folks have called 911 to complain that their neighbor's bed is "squeaking too damn loud." And another caller complained, "There is a snow sculpture outside my apartment [with] gross exaggeration of certain male parts we all find obscene." [full article] [Update: article no longer available.]

Ok, I'm in the wrong job. Where do I sign up to be a 911 operator? Oh, never mind — I wouldn't qualify. I'd get fired for laughing too much.

Link via Fark.

From the Globe and Mail: 'Spiderman gloves' within reach, scientists say.

Scientists working to replicate the incredible stickiness of gecko lizard's feet have come up with a sort of tape that could allow people to climb, superhero-style, on glass ceilings and walls.

Geckos — a type of lizard with weak limbs, a stout body and a large head — can dangle their entire weight from a wall by a single toe. They can heave themselves up a sheet of polished glass at remarkable speed, covering as much as one metre in only a second.

The secret behind their incredible stickiness was only recently cracked, and now a team of researchers working mainly from the University of Manchester has published in the journal Nature Materials the results of two years' work on a synthetic version of a gecko's foot.

"They have been able to manufacture self-cleaning, re-attachable dry adhesives," the university said in a statement. "The research team believes it won't be long before 'Spiderman' gloves become a reality." [continue]

Related links:
Will "Gecko Tape" Let Humans Climb Walls? - nationalgeographic.com

Oh, too funny. From silicon.com: House of Lords email debate reveals ‘spam’ confusion.

Fears that government may not have a finger on the pulse of modern technology were exposed in the House of Lords yesterday, as some Lords debated unsolicited spam email, while others discussed the tinned meat of the same name.

Lord Sainsbury headed the debate into draft regulations for the limitation of spam and may have muddied the waters somewhat, given his past as a supermarket baron.

However, confusion with the tinned meat appeared to be a genuine obstacle to serious discussion for some Lords in attendance. Lord Renton asked: "Will the Minister explain how it is that an inedible tinned food can become an unsolicited email, bearing in mind that some of us wish to be protected from having an email?"

While Lord Sainsbury admitted to not knowing the answer to this question . . . .

Well, that's what Lord Sainsbury gets for not knowing enough Monty Python. Somebody tell this man about the spam sketch. and why spam is called spam.

(Link thanks to Geekpress.)

Related link:
Parliament.uk
Spam: Good lords

Over at zug.com, John Hargrave asks "How crazy would I have to make my signature before someone would actually notice?" And then he launches into an experiment, signing stranger and stranger things on credit card slips. The story is here.

Spotted at Metafilter:

Who was that masked man? A bunch of friends decide to fool their local paper into thinking there is a real-life superhero in Tunbridge Wells. Local paper falls for it hook line and sinker. Swiftly followed by national media. This thread on a Divine Comedy discussion board describes the whole dastardly plot unfolding. The fun starts on page 2.

Hilarious.

Related news article:
The Mystery Spa Man! - Unmasked - BBC

Related Mirabilis.ca content:
Batman and Robin in Whitley

For the Chelsea Garden Show, James Dyson made it look like water is flowing uphill.

A set of four glass ramps positioned in a square clearly show water travelling up each of them before it pours off the top, only to start again at the bottom of the next ramp.

It is a sight which defies logic, and has become probably the most memorable image of this year's show. (...)

It is a trick which has greatly intrigued the crowds at the Chelsea Flower Show, where Dyson's work is part of the Daily Telegraph's Silver Gilt award-winning garden. People have been queuing up 10-deep to see the fountain, says Mr Phillips, many of them discussing their various ideas as to how it works.

"I stand a discreet distance away and listen to some of their theories - there are some fantastic ideas there, some of them I actually wish I could make.

The rest of the story (including an explanation of how the illusion was achieved) is here at the BBC: How does Dyson make water go uphill?

If you've been on the Internet since forever, I bet The Lemon's Internet History Timeline will make you chuckle.

[Update: this link now goes to an archived version of the page, as the original has vanished.]

The Sleeping Dragon points us to the Halfbakery website, describing it as follows:

...home of all those ideas that come to you at 4am, such as luminous feet for those whose partners get grumpy with them for turning on the light on the middle of the night, and canned mice for cats.

Obviously, some of these are patently stupid and some are just funny, but you can vote for and against and there's a real dandy in the lead - the Panic Pin, which is an alternative pin number which you can key in if you are being forced to withdraw money by a mugger. This summons help. Very clever, I hope someone implements this, although I'm still voting for number three, the perennial tail issue.

Such fun! And boy, do I ever have a lot of things to add to that website.

Found at David Brake's blog.org:

Playing With Time is an educational site that lets you see everything from a blink or a cat slurping milk slowed down to a pregnancy speeded up or a woman ageing 69 years in a few seconds.

I liked watching starfish move.

(The Playing With Time site requires the Quicktime plugin, and is best suited to faster connections.)

From Wired: Get Out and Walk. It's Only Water.

Time was when walking on water was merely a miracle of biblical proportions. Now it's also a team sport.

That was the goal for a group of engineers who managed to remain buoyant as they traversed an Olympic-size pool wearing nonmotorized devices they designed as part of a walking on water competition that kicked off the Edinburgh Science Festival in Scotland. [continue]

If you're not already reading the lovely and fascinating Giornale Nuovo blog, this would be a good time to start. Just look at today's Dream Anatomy post, or maybe the Physiognomies one from a few days ago, or Codices Illustres from back in January. Can you resist going back each morning to see what else might have appeared?

Happy April Fool's Day! I've been saving this story about the The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest for you; it's one of my favourites.

On April 1, 1957 the British news show, Panorama, broadcast a segment about a bumper spaghetti harvest in southern Switzerland. The success of the crop was attributed to an unusually mild winter. The audience heard Richard Dimbleby, the show's anchor, discussing the details of the spaghetti crop as they watched a rural Swiss family pulling pasta off spaghetti trees and placing it into baskets.

"The spaghetti harvest here in Switzerland is not, of course, carried out on anything like the tremendous scale of the Italian industry," Dimbleby informed the audience. "Many of you, I'm sure," he continued, "will have seen pictures of the vast spaghetti plantations in the Po valley. For the Swiss, however, it tends to be more of a family affair."

The narration then continued in a tone of absolute seriousness:

"Another reason why this may be a bumper year lies in the virtual disappearance of the spaghetti weevil, the tiny creature whose depradations have caused much concern in the past."

The narrator anticipated some questions viewers might have. For instance, why, if spaghetti grows on trees, does it always come in uniform lengths? The answer was that "this is the result of many years of patient endeavor by past breeders who succeeded in producing the perfect spaghetti." [continue]

The spaghetti harvest page includes photos from the broadcast, and the public's reaction. Priceless. God bless the BBC.

Hee! This is from Aftenposten.no: Tourist council tries to fool Swedes.

It was April Fool's Day, and the Norwegian tourist council just couldn't resist poking some fun at their neighbors to the east... like trying to lure them to a holiday at "Playa Los Fjordos," where they could swim in fjords warmed up to tropical temperatures. (...)

It remains unclear how many unsuspecting Swedes may fall for the joke, "but I hope they'll understand that we've done this in jest," Andreas Nasman, Norwegian tourist chief in Sweden, told newspaper Aftenposten.

At issue were full-page ads placed in Sweden's biggest newspapers on April 1st that promoted some sensational news in the charter tour market: Norwegian researchers had succeeded in leading the Gulf Stream right into three Norwegian fjords. There, the water temperature had risen to a positively balmy 24C (75F).

The ads, which featured full-color, scenic photos of a beach along a fjord and happy tourists in swimsuits, went on to claim that researchers at the Institute for Climate Studies at the University of Bergen found that the fjord areas now have the same number of hours with sunshine as the Canary Islands and Thailand.

Their findings, according to the tourist council, created completely new possibilities for Norwegian tourism. New hotels were under construction, and some fjord towns were changing their names. Molde, for example, was now being called Costa del Molde, while tropical fruit trees were being planted in Rio de Hardanger.

"We figured maybe some of the Swedish readers would forget what day it was," said Nasman. [continue]

Oh look, a paper folding project. Just the thing for lunchtime entertainment.

Because you just know you need it:

1:1 In-ay e-thay eginning-bay Od-gay eated-cray e-thay eaven-hay and-ay e-thay earth-ay.1:2 And-ay e-thay earth-ay as-way ithout-way orm-fay, and-ay oid-vay; and-ay arkness-day as-way upon-ay e-thay ace-fay of-ay e-thay eep-day. And-ay e-thay Irit-spay of-ay Od-gay oved-may upon-ay e-thay ace-fay of-ay e-thay aters-way.1:3 And-ay Od-gay aid-say, Et-lay ere-thay e-bay ight-lay: and-ay ere-thay as-way ight-lay.1:4 And-ay Od-gay aw-say e-thay ight-lay, at-thay it-ay as-way ood-gay: and-ay Od-gay ivided-day e-thay ight-lay om-fray e-thay arkness-day.1:5 And-ay Od-gay alled-cay e-thay ight-lay Ay-day, and-ay e-thay arkness-day e-hay alled-cay Ight-nay. And-ay e-thay evening-ay and-ay e-thay orning-may ere-way e-thay irst-fay ay-day. [continue]

From National Geographic, Robots Designed to Show How Dinosaurs Moved.

If Peter Dilworth gets his way, museum dinosaur exhibits may soon whir and hum into action - and capture the fascination of a whole new generation of scientists as lifelike robots stand up and walk around like the ancient creatures did millions of years ago.

Dilworth, a former research scientist in the Artificial Intelligence Lab at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, currently runs Dinosaur Robots, Inc. in Boston. His aim is to make lifelike dinobots.

"If it is in a museum, I would think that a lot of kids would see dinosaurs walk and go up to them," he said. "It is a new opportunity to get them interested in science, see what a cool thing it is." [continue]

Educational opportunities? Oh, never mind that. I'd just like to borrow a dino-robot for a while, and have it ring my friend's doorbell one morning before breakfast.

From Tomorrow's Bird, by Ian Frazier:

Since May, I've been working for the crows, and so far it's the best job I ever had. I kind of fell into it by a combination of preparedness and luck. I'd been casting around a bit, looking for a new direction in my career, and one afternoon when I was out on my walk I happened to see some crows fly by. One of them landed on a telephone wire just above my head. I looked at him for a moment, and then on impulse I made a skchhh noise with my teeth and lips. He seemed to like that; I saw his tail make a quick upward bobbing motion at the sound. Encouraged, I made the noise again, and again his tail bobbed. He looked at me closely with one eye, then turned his beak and looked at me with the other, meanwhile readjusting his feet on the wire. After a few minutes, he cawed and flew off to join his companions. I had a good feeling I couldn't put into words. Basically, I thought the meeting had gone well, and as it turned out, I was right. When I got home there was a message from the crows saying I had the job. [continue]

[UPDATE: link now goes to an archived version of this article, as the original has vanished from the web. But hey, I found a copy for you!]

I hurt from laughing too hard at the photo and story of this poor cat.

If you've ever been frustrated by a plethora of stupid Windows error messages, if your Windows computer drives you crazy, or if you've opted for another operating system altogether because Windows makes you grumpy.... well, go play with this bit of frivolity: Windows RG. Priceless. I found this at the Shifted Librarian, and I'll echo her advice: "make sure you click on everything!" Requires Flash.

What do you do with an old SAAB when what you really want is a sauna? You build the sauna inside the car, of course, and that's exactly what Magnus B. did. His sauna car page gives details, and photos. (Via Linkfilter.)

This scribble thing is a pretty good flash toy. Just the thing for when you're bored at work, kids.

When you get good and annoyed with your bank, what do you do? Xdude made a flash thing about his annoying experience with the Royal Bank. It's brilliant. If you've got flash installed, turn up your speakers and go look.

Today's amusement comes from Not incensed over new fragrance at totalcatholic.com. [Sorry, article no longer available.]

Messe de Minuit, or Midnight Mass, is a new aroma that the makers claim is ‘deeply reminiscent of the cool, calm interior of any house of prayer’ which will conjure images of ‘childhood, holidays and celebration’ for the wearer.

The exclusive fragrance is a combination of incense, honey, cinnamon and musk combined with fresher notes. At £52 per bottle, it is on sale at Harvey Nichols and Harrods.

But Catholic Times testers who kindly offered their sharp sense of smell after a Sunday Mass in North Wales did not connect it with too many images of celebration.

Mother-of-one Mrs Angela Edwards said: ‘It's a bit overpowering, I feel like I'm not going to be able to get rid of this smell for days, I wouldn't want to wear it.’

Karen Breen, 22, from Mold, North Wales, added: ‘It smells a bit like church incense, but more like when you walk into a house full of students and they are burning joss-sticks.’

Nicki Catherall, 30, also from Mold, said: ‘I would feel a bit hard done by if I had paid that much for it. The smell is quite accurate, as it does smell of incense but it's just not an aroma I'd want to have on my skin all day, every day.’

Mrs Mathilde Sciarrillo, 70, a Catholic grandmother, was not convinced that it was a nice smell to wear: ‘It does smell like the inside of church, which can be nice but sometimes even that smell can be too much if the priest overdoes it with the thurible.’

Got flash? Go play with fly guy.

Got snow? This has got to be the perfect project for a winter afternoon, and the Igloo Builder's Guide has photos and directions.

Building an igloo is easy and fun. And the igloo is a great place to spend the night on a small 'expedition' in the mountains. Much warmer than a tent, and can be built just about anywhere. Building an igloo will take somewhere between 3 and 6 hours, depending on your previous experience and level of ambition...

Traditional igloo construction involves slicing hard-packed snow. When that's lacking, try the Eskimold kit: you pack snow into plastic molds, and wind up with snow blocks which are just the right size and shape for your igloo.

Related Links:
Build an Igloo
How To Make An Igloo
Igloo -- the Traditional Arctic Snow Dome
First Person: building an igloo

From the Guardian: Fake Plaques Puzzle France. [Sorry, article no longer available.]

It's long been a tradition in Paris to mount a plaque on a building where a noteworthy tenant - a war hero, major writer or other luminary - lived or died.

But recently, the tradition has taken a curious turn.

Take, for example, a plaque that appeared mysteriously on a facade in eastern Paris stating: "On April 17, 1967 - nothing happened here."

Or one in the garment district paying homage to a former resident identified as, "Karima Bentiffa - civil servant.'"

This sounds like such a fun project! And a person could do the same thing in London, too.

What happens when you put dry ice into an airplane toilet at 33,000 feet? One unfortunate pilot found out, and the story is priceless.

He turns and looks at the toilet. But it has, for all practical purposes, disappeared, and where it once rested he now finds what he will later describe only as a vision. In place of the commode roars a fluorescent blue waterfall, a huge, heaving cascade of toilet fluid thrust waist-high into the air and splashing into all four corners of the lavatory. Pouring from the top of this volcano, like smoke out of a factory chimney, is a rapidly spreading pall of what looks like steam. He closes his eyes tight for a second, then reopens them. He does this not for the benefit of unwitnessed theatrics, or even to create an embellishing detail for eventual use in a story. He does so because, for the first time in his life, he truly does not believe what has cast itself before him.

Drop everything and go read the rest of this Ask the Pilot story.

Related:
Techno-toilet

Here's today's silly flash amusement from the Sveriges Televison (Swedish public service television) website. Click a horse and. . . . (Requires flash, of course.)

Remember the story about the 700 year old fresco that looks like Mickey Mouse? Well look, it gets better! From an Ananova article: Austria launches bid for Mickey Mouse copyright.

Austria has launched a tongue-in-cheek attempt to claim the Mickey Mouse copyright after discovering a picture of the Disney character on a medieval fresco.

The 700-year-old Austrian Mickey Mouse was uncovered in a church in the village of Malta in the province of Carinthia.

Siggi Neuschitzer, manager of the local tourism office, confirmed that the legal process to claim the copyright had already started.

He said: "I visited Vienna and had a long meeting with our legal team. They have been instructed to demand Disney return the mouse to its rightful home here in Austria.

"Anyone who has seen our fresco can see it proves that Mickey Mouse is a true Austrian - and was not from Hollywood."

There's a website called I used to belive, which is "a collection of ideas that adults thought were true when they were children". Much of it's pretty boring, although I'm glad to know I wasn't the only kid worried about getting sucked down the bathtub drain when the plug was pulled.

The religion section does have a few gems. These are the entries I like best:

• I used to believe the saying "thanks be to God" went "thanks, Peter God" - as if Peter was his first name. :-)
• 'God is always watching' my mother would tell me endlessly as a child. I always wondered how many televisions god would watch simultaneously and did he ever get bored simply watching me washing my teeth, so I would dance around to entertain him so he wouldn't get bored.
• My daughter once asked if God was short for Godfrey.
• As a lover of animals, one time in church I was quite excited by the sermon because my mis-understanding of the minister who I swore said 'Gladly, the cross-eyed bear'.
• When I was about six I remember asking an adult what Mary did before she was a statue.
• Follow me and I will make you vicious old men.....OOPS that was really fishers of men.
• I used to believe that we were singing "Rosanna in the highest" in church, instead of "Hosanah" and I wondered for many years why I hadn't heard of Rosanna anywhere else.
• My husband and I realized one day that our 3 year old was praying, "God is great. God is good. Let us spank him for our food . . . "

What appears to be a 700-year-old picture of Mickey Mouse has been discovered on a church fresco in Austria.

Walt Disney first sketched his character in 1928 but an Austrian art historian spotted an uncannily similar drawing.

The painting, which has been dated back to the early 14th Century, is in the Community Church in Malta, Carinthia. Next to a large sketch of St. Christopher is a clear drawing of the mouse.

Art historian Eduard Mahlknecht believes the similarity to Mickey is pure coincidence.

He told Austrian daily 'Krone: "St Christopher was often depicted surrounded by various animals and sea-life, and in this case something that resembles Mickey Mouse.

"It is most likely to be a drawing of a beaver or a weasel."

That's from Ananova's article, 700-year-old picture of 'Mickey Mouse' found in Austrian church. It's got a photo of that fresco - go have a look!

An article at TheAge.com.au adds this:

According to legend, the weasel was fertilised through its mouth and gave birth through its ears, which is why the ears of the fresco creature may have been sketched large, Mahlknecht said.

This could get interesting when somebody starts producing t-shirts and stuff featuring that big-eared fresco animal. Will the fresco undermine Disney's copyright?

Related link:
Taking the Mickey

Update:
Mouse fresco update - November 21st Mirabilis.ca entry about Austria's attempt to claim the Mickey Mouse copyright.

From the Inukshuk entry in the Canadian Encyclopedia:

Inukshuk (singular), meaning "likeness of a person" in Inuktitut (the Inuit language) is a stone figure made by the Inuit. The plural is inuksuit. The Inuit make inuksuit in different forms and for different purposes: to show directions to travellers, to warn of impending danger, to mark a place of respect, or to act as helpers in the hunting of caribou. Similar stone figures were made all over the world in ancient times, but the Arctic is one of the few places where they still stand. An inukshuk can be small or large, a single rock, several rocks balanced on each other, round boulders or flat. Inuit tradition forbids the destruction of inuksuit.

The Inukshuk Creator will let you build your own inukshuk. (Flash required.) Whee!

How's this for a corporate survival skill? Next time Those Admin People give you a stupid memo, you can do this with it.

Why didn't I think of this? The anti-telemarketing script offers a whole new way of dealing with those pesky telemarketing calls. The intro blurb says:

Telemarketers make use of a telescript - a guideline for a telephone conversation. This script creates an imbalance in the conversation between the marketer and the consumer. It is this imbalance, most of all, that makes telemarketing successful. The EGBG Counterscript attempts to redress that balance.

Oh, does it ever. One can just imagine how the conversation would go if one were using this script.

The Viking Kittens do Led Zeppelin. Ha! My friend Ken told me about this, advising "Turn up the speakers for this one, and put down your coffee." It's a flash thing.

Apart from getting stranded in a tidal pool, a recently-rescued octopus seems quite bright. (Well, for somebody related to slugs, anyway.) Einstein the octopus [sorry, linked page no longer available] has figured out how to open jars of food on his own. Once he'd emptied his first jar, he stuffed his whole self into the jar.

An article on the (American) National Wildlife Federation website says "Octopus literature is filled with tales of naturalists briefly leaving animals in open tanks and returning to find them scaling a bookcase, hiding in a teapot or expired on the carpet. Astonishingly compressible, an octopus can ooze through an opening no bigger than one of its eyeballs. "

Just imagine yourself, all ready to put water in your teapot, only to find the pot occupied by an octopus.

"Mustapha Riat said he had been woken in his ground-floor flat on Sunday morning to find a large figure with five-foot hairy arms towering over him. "

I'd just think I'd been reading too much fiction, but reports suggest that there's a chimpanzee burglar in the Hackney area of London. And it's not even April 1st.

This bit of hilarity comes from a parenting zine:

The day eventually comes when your child asks you THE question. How are babies made, mommy? It's natural curiousity and, depending on the age of the child, you either sit down and have a frank discussion with them or you tell them that babies grow in the garden and the baby fairy picks them when they are ripe.

But when your child phrases the question in a different way, it throws you off and sends you on a trajectory path to that odd world of a kid's brain. [continue]